But have I mentioned that nothing sounds quite as tasty now that I'm not drinking Diet Coke? (In case you don't know, I gave it up for Lent, along with facebook.) It's true. Especially fast food. Wes thinks it's great! (Unfortunately, he doesn't support my McDonald's habit.)
Anyway, back to Sunday. I really wanted a Diet Coke to go with my yummy MFS lunch. Really.
So... I ordered one.
I agonized over the decision. I asked Wes over and over what he thought. The waitress asked us what we wanted to drink and I willed myself to say water, but I just couldn't. I just stared at her, and I'm sure she thought I was really strange. I had to ask her to come back to get my drink order. Lol. I felt really guilty as I gulped down the first few sips. I know, I know, we're under grace, not the law... but still. I said I was going to give it up, at least for 40 days, and I failed. My flesh is crazy weak! Whether or not God was disappointed in me, I was disappointed in myself.
But you know the really crazy thing? It wasn't really that good! I couldn't believe it. I would sip, swallow, ponder, wait a few minutes, and do it all over again. A few minutes passed, and I finally had to face the truth: I just didn't love it. I was so disappointed by the whole ordeal that I gave it back to my waitress and got iced tea instead.
This is huge, friends! I have been hoping that by the end of the 40 days, I wouldn't crave it anymore -- either that or I wouldn't like the taste that much. I have gone off of it in the past, and even though I still craved it, I remember it not tasting as good when I started drinking it again. But as sad as this sounds, I would just "push through" until I started liking it again. Crazy, I know!
Speaking of crazy, it seems crazy to me that after less than two weeks I wouldn't like the taste of it. Maybe it's because I've hyped it up so much in mind... I have craved it like crazy the past two weeks. Maybe I expected too much and that's why it was disappointing? I guess MFS could've not mixed it well, but I don't really think that's it. Either my tastes really have changed quickly, or my expectations set me up to fail. Maybe a little of both?
Anyway. I'm going to do my best not to give in again, and I think Sunday's experience will make that a little easier. I'm thankful that I am under "the law of grace," and I'm thankful that there are lessons to be learned even in our failures. This particular failure really has me curious to know how I will react to the Diet Coke I plan on having for lunch on Easter Sunday (while checking my facebook, of course)! Will I trade it in for iced tea?! We'll see!
(I just re-read this post and I totally am talking about Diet Coke like an addict talks about drugs. Wow. I hope I end up giving it up for good!)