Lonely

Friday, February 10, 2012

This is "in between" stage we're in as we wait for Wes's PhD applications to process... this holding pattern of going to work, going to the gym, cooking dinner, doing dishes, and just generally leading our lives, all the while waiting to find out what's going to happen next... it's hard. At least for me, anyway.

Don't get me wrong -- there's a lot to love about life right now. Wes isn't in class anymore, so we have more time to spend together. He can focus on cooking & good mobster books {his favorite these days} and still have time to keep up on language study and prepare for PhD work. I enjoy him enjoying the extra time he has when he's not taking 12 hours of class. I love my job, and I find a lot of purpose in doing it, so there are no problems there. I've gotten into a great exercise routine, I'm finding time to clean my little apartment, and I'm thoroughly engrossed in Ally McBeal, a show most people watched ten years ago. Calista Flockhart makes me smile. But you know what? In the midst of it all, I'm kind of lonely.

















It's not that I don't have friends -- I do. But a lot of them have moved away. I try to keep up with them via facebook and blogs and phone dates, but it's not the same. Most of my sweet friends in Louisville keep much busier schedules than I do. If I don't think to schedule time with them in advance, I find myself with no plans at all over the weekends -- which, don't get me wrong, is usually just the way I like it. But there's rarely anyone to enjoy the down time with these days... no one to hop in my car to run to Target, no one to watch a redbox with, no one to make Costco trips fun {miss you, Kelly!}.

There's a chance we could stay in Louisville if Wes ends up at Asbury. And if that's what happens, that's fine. I can start over, so to speak, and begin to invest in new friendships. But I don't really want to do that if we're moving in six months, you know?

I'll get through this stage. Like I said, there's much to be thankful for. And tonight? Well. Tonight I'm going to a movie with my dear friend Kari & some other girls, so I'm really looking forward to that. We're going to see The Vow. I have no idea what it's about, and I never go to movie theaters, so it seems like an adventure {I know -- I need to get out more}. I am sneaking in a bottle of diet pepsi, some swedish fish & a giant Kit Kat bar... 20 weight-watchers points worth of sugary delight! I eat well during the weeks so I can splurge over the weekend, and I just can't wait. :)

Let me end this slightly depressing post by saying this: if you're reading this, chances are you're a dear friend who makes my life rich & less lonely just by being in it. I'm grateful!

2 comments:

In Definition said...

you could fly over:) all my friends wear saris now. it's not really the same kind of friendship, you know:) miss you!

Kari said...

I'm glad we had a sneak in food/fun movie night together! Let's do that more often. The fun night part. Or swedish fish can always be involved, it's whatever.

Maybe I could come zumba with you one night...can I pay for just one class?

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